The Pressure to Appeal to Someone - Where does it come from?
This is something that I have had to deal with for most of my life. Whether it be in school, parties, boujee social events, weddings etc, often times I felt the need to impress that particular king or queen that ruled whatever scene I was in. It was not a pleasant ride. It came with heartbreak, disappointment, and rejection. I never felt like an equal to these kings and queens. Whenever I want to talk about something that I have been going through most of my life, I often don't know where to start. My self esteem decreased as I got older. Especially after I came back from India after 3 years of living with my grandparents and entered the second grade, that's when I really started to feel these new feelings called "being left out", "feeling like shit" , "being the weakest link in he room" (well I have left that even before I entered the second grade). But you get the point, it was a culmination of new emotions that I never experienced and nev